Shat Shorts

by Shat Shorts

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Lars Gotrich
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Lars Gotrich The band is Shat Shorts. They do not take themselves seriously. They will even write a noxiously heavy song about trendy early 2000s bands like The Rapture and The Faint because they feel like it. Favorite track: So I Hear The Faint Are Having A Reunion.
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first full length from shat shorts.

recorded at HQ


released September 3, 2013

recorded at HQ, Winter 2013.

tiffany yoon - front cover
anton and gabe - engineering and mixing
josh bonati - mastering


all rights reserved



Shat Shorts D.C.

five friends making weird music together. we're from dc. we'll play whatever basement if you email us at

members of Monument
ex members of Dawntreader, The Summer We Went West, French Stewart, Mop Attack, Hobis
... more

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Track Name: When I Die
A serene park
Full of empty benches
a sanctuary in this city of shit
The Giant obelisks
The Mausoleums
The Monuments you made to yourself

You'll be forgotten
Your corpse is rotten

Just like your life
Your boring life

when i die stuff me in a box
and transport me to the nearest docks

And send me
off towards the sea
with all my things
on a burning ship
Track Name: Liveblogging The Loss Of My Virginity
this blogs going live
So excited, I've been waiting all day
setting up my blog and I'm on my way
Wait for my connection to get full bars
Get ready baby cuz we're gonna be stars

And I'm pulling out my dick
Advertisements up and I'm ready to go
Performance anxiety hope I can grow
All the ads sayin they can help
No idea cuz I've never been felt

and I'm ready for heaven
Mind is racing; hands are fumbling
Worried about the condom; when I should be tumbling
Phone in hand; updates about to start
Ready for the internet, to tear me apart

and we're out the gate
it feels pretty great
Things are getting close gotta try to hold it
got a royal flush and I'm about to fold it

I'm running out of time
i’m getting closer
And closer
And closer
And closer
I'm done
Track Name: Another Wasted Day
you have so much to do
nothing at all nothing nothing at all
it's cliche to be in bed all day
nothing at all nothing nothing at all

do it!
screw it!
i’ll just wait til tomorrow

nothing at all nothing nothing at all
and you've got so much to do but it’ll be
nothing at all nothing nothing at all
it's cliche to be in bed all day
nothing at all nothing at all
Track Name: Traffic
people drive slower than they should
i bet they’d drive slower if they could
yeah asshole
cut me off
thanks for that
i’m better off
i hope my life is worth five feet
because that’s all you’re getting on this street
we ain’t moving cuz of this slowbro
it’s like we’re stuck in slow-mo
pay attention! what more can i say?
isn’t it obvious you’re causing the delay?

please just move
let me passs
you’re not helping
you’re a waste of gas
drive like you have some place to go
not breaking the record of driving very slow
Track Name: Neo-Tokyo Is About To E·X·P·L·O·D·E
Track Name: He's So Modern
check him out
he's so cool without a doubt
the envy of everyone around
they treat him as if he's been crowned
got himself a wikipedia
he’s a critic of the media
rarely sincere, likely ironically
mostly sardonically

he's so modern
he's so sick
he's so modern but really
he's just a dick

he's always got a new girl on his arm
just as long as she keeps her charm
and they'll break up via text
cuz he's looking out for what's next
he's got a dj gig at the end of the week
and he thinks he's like the house he plays: real deep

Track Name: Show On Haunted Hill
hey man where's the show tonight?
that abandoned mansion the one on the hill.
you mean hell house?
the place with the ghost?
it's fucking haunted!!

who dares enter my sacred space
shaking my walls with your terrible bass
and one by one you will die....tonight!

you will pay for waking me
you're trapped inside with nowhere to flee
and one by one you will die....tonight!

ripping your arms from your shoulder
bleeding out til the body gets colder
and one by one you will die....tonight!
for disturbing my rest
Track Name: So I Hear The Faint Are Having A Reunion
In the house of jealous lovers
They vote to bust their bunkers
The news's worked up so sexual
it was all so regrettable
Hey Mr you're on fire mister
Just like your town reduced to cinder
Those freedoms worth dying for
You're not safe until we take some more

we're just damaged goods
intentionally misunderstood

and if we can't recognize that we made a mistake
that we wasted life, resources, good will all on a lie
then what hope do we have left

Who even cares anymore

I barely remember last week

Oh those angular riffs

Give me a disco beat and an 80s night
Give me a cowbell to make it all right

pretending I don't really mind
but in reality I just resigned
Track Name: Space Jam
Major we're glad you could come
This is urgent something has to be done
these fraking kids are gonna die
They're playing a show in sector five

Space ain't the kind of place to have a show
In fact I'm sure that it blows
For one thing there's no sound
And another there's no ground


Major tom
Major tom!?!
We've lost the signal
someone go out there and find him

Sir I don't see much
Oh my god
there’s nothing left, there’s only limbs
there’s nothing left, there’s only limbs
Track Name: Existential Crisis
just call me Sisyphus
push a boulder up a hill
just to see it tumble down
as i walk towards the ground
i wonder what’s the point?

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