Shat Shorts

by Shat Shorts

supported by
Lars Gotrich
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Lars Gotrich The band is Shat Shorts. They do not take themselves seriously. They will even write a noxiously heavy song about trendy early 2000s bands like The Rapture and The Faint because they feel like it. Favorite track: So I Hear The Faint Are Having A Reunion.
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When I Die 01:17
A serene park Full of empty benches a sanctuary in this city of shit The Giant obelisks The Mausoleums The Monuments you made to yourself You'll be forgotten Your corpse is rotten Just like your life Your boring life when i die stuff me in a box and transport me to the nearest docks And send me off towards the sea with all my things on a burning ship
7:45 this blogs going live So excited, I've been waiting all day setting up my blog and I'm on my way Wait for my connection to get full bars Get ready baby cuz we're gonna be stars 7:46 And I'm pulling out my dick Advertisements up and I'm ready to go Performance anxiety hope I can grow All the ads sayin they can help No idea cuz I've never been felt 7:47 and I'm ready for heaven Mind is racing; hands are fumbling Worried about the condom; when I should be tumbling Phone in hand; updates about to start Ready for the internet, to tear me apart 7:48 and we're out the gate it feels pretty great Things are getting close gotta try to hold it got a royal flush and I'm about to fold it 7:49 I'm running out of time i’m getting closer And closer And closer And closer I'm done
you have so much to do nothing at all nothing nothing at all it's cliche to be in bed all day nothing at all nothing nothing at all do it! screw it! i’ll just wait til tomorrow nothing at all nothing nothing at all and you've got so much to do but it’ll be nothing at all nothing nothing at all it's cliche to be in bed all day nothing at all nothing at all
Traffic 02:01
people drive slower than they should i bet they’d drive slower if they could yeah asshole cut me off thanks for that i’m better off i hope my life is worth five feet because that’s all you’re getting on this street we ain’t moving cuz of this slowbro it’s like we’re stuck in slow-mo pay attention! what more can i say? isn’t it obvious you’re causing the delay? please just move let me passs you’re not helping you’re a waste of gas drive like you have some place to go not breaking the record of driving very slow
tetsuo kaneda
check him out he's so cool without a doubt the envy of everyone around they treat him as if he's been crowned got himself a wikipedia he’s a critic of the media rarely sincere, likely ironically mostly sardonically he's so modern he's so sick he's so modern but really he's just a dick he's always got a new girl on his arm just as long as she keeps her charm and they'll break up via text cuz he's looking out for what's next he's got a dj gig at the end of the week and he thinks he's like the house he plays: real deep he's so mod ern
hey man where's the show tonight? that abandoned mansion the one on the hill. uhh....what? you mean hell house? the place with the ghost? it's fucking haunted!! who dares enter my sacred space shaking my walls with your terrible bass and one by one you will die....tonight! you will pay for waking me you're trapped inside with nowhere to flee and one by one you will die....tonight! ripping your arms from your shoulder bleeding out til the body gets colder and one by one you will die....tonight! for disturbing my rest
In the house of jealous lovers They vote to bust their bunkers The news's worked up so sexual it was all so regrettable Hey Mr you're on fire mister Just like your town reduced to cinder Those freedoms worth dying for You're not safe until we take some more we're just damaged goods intentionally misunderstood and if we can't recognize that we made a mistake that we wasted life, resources, good will all on a lie then what hope do we have left Who even cares anymore I barely remember last week Oh those angular riffs Give me a disco beat and an 80s night Give me a cowbell to make it all right pretending I don't really mind but in reality I just resigned
Space Jam 02:04
Major we're glad you could come This is urgent something has to be done these fraking kids are gonna die They're playing a show in sector five Space ain't the kind of place to have a show In fact I'm sure that it blows For one thing there's no sound And another there's no ground Frak!!! Major tom Major tom!?! We've lost the signal someone go out there and find him Sir I don't see much Oh my god there’s nothing left, there’s only limbs repeat there’s nothing left, there’s only limbs
just call me Sisyphus push a boulder up a hill just to see it tumble down as i walk towards the ground i wonder what’s the point?


first full length from shat shorts.

recorded at HQ


released September 3, 2013

recorded at HQ, Winter 2013.

tiffany yoon - front cover
anton and gabe - engineering and mixing
josh bonati - mastering


all rights reserved



Shat Shorts D.C.

five friends making weird music together. we're from dc. we'll play whatever basement if you email us at

members of Monument
ex members of Dawntreader, The Summer We Went West, French Stewart, Mop Attack, Hobis
... more

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